A new poncey bar has opened near me in one of the rich suburban towns that however on the edge of my city. No surprise there; at least 5 other poncey bars have opened there in the past few years, all exactly the same and all catering for the exact same market: 30 somethings with spare cash and a wish to spend their evening somewhere "Nice".
This one is different however, because its been done up like an Edwardian
house, and the staff are dressed as "servants" in full Downtown Abbey
(yawn) gear. This produces a frankly creepy atmosphere of domestic servitude,
misery, drudgery and of course privilege for the few that is very much
"not my cup of tea", but it did get me thinking that since this area
loves UKIP so much, why not start up a nazi themed bar, much in the style of
the Edwardian bar, but where these UKIPers can really enjoy the jackboot of
oppression, just like back in old Adolf's day? They could do it up like a Munich
beer hall, make everybody wear brown shirts and ban Jews and Gypsies. I'm
pretty sure it would go down a storm, what with this country's new found love
of far right ideology.
How do we stop the raise of UKIP? Well UKIP are essentially Katie Hopkins
in political party form, but nobody has noticed yet. This is good news,
since Katie Hopkins is universally reviled. How did Katie Hopkins become so
reviled? That is easy: she was invited to give her opinion on things on
platforms that "ordinary" people watch and enjoy (i.e. not fucking
Question Time). As soon as Holly Willoughby destroyed her for her snobbish,
hypocritical, mental rant about children's names on This Morning Katie Hopkins
was effectively fucked.
UKIP's mentalness is there for all to see, but for some reason the
mainstream media have not challenged them about it. Some (Farage) know that
their party is full of nutcases, loons, and probably paedophiles, so he keeps
quite about their policies, even going as far to call his last manifest (from
waaaaaay back in 2010) as "drivel", but others in the party are out
and out David Icke and are proud of their anti-women, anti-workers, anti-NHS,
anti-fun, anti-people, anti-nature, pro-corporations, pro-super rich conspiracy
theory led message. Get them speaking and get voters listening and these
arseholes are proper FUCKED.
So here is the plan: get Farage on This Morning talking about something
(anything) that is not Europe or immigration, preferably
something his party has mental views on like the NHS, VAT, income tax rates or
climate change, and get Holly to destroy the dickhead on national telly. Even
better, get one of the other less media savvy nutters on vs. Holly (I'm
thinking human fly paper Neil Hamilton) and they will never get a vote again.
Lets face it, it could work, and nothing else is working.