Thursday, 3 December 2009

Gabriele Marcotti - why?

Gabriele Marcotti must have pictures of the BBC sports editor boning a watermelon or something; his presence has infested every level of sports presentation across all of the BBC's "content streams".  He's currently banging away on Radio Five Live.  On a Thursday night.  Like he does on Friday.  And Sunday six-o-six.  And Match of the Day on BBC.  And the Football League show on BBC 2.  And Football Focus.  And the Monday Night club back on Radio Five Live.  And on Tuesdays and Wednesday on Radio Five Live.  Got a news story about football, need an expert soundbite?  Call Marcotti.  So he's also on the news reports. 

Who is he?  His opinions are about as well thought through as Garth Crooks'.  He is not as entertaining as Kris Akabusi, or as good looking as Steve Claridge.  So why is he everywhere?

Speaking of Claridge, I've always thought of him as a self important tosspot, but he gives every impression of loathing Marcotti whenever they appear together, which is a lot considering that they are both on the TV or Radio every single fucking day of the year.  Sometimes I think he is about to snap and kick Marcotti in his smug face, but he never has.  Come on Claridge, grow a backbone and deck the bastard you boring twat!

Friday, 27 November 2009

Jeffrey Boycott's "Growin"

Geoffrey Boycott has just said (about the SA bowler Albi Morkel): "he lasted about 14 balls at Yorkshire before he tore his grow-in".

I bow to the mighty Geoff on most things, but even in Yorkshire it's called a "groin", surely?  Maybe Geofrey knows more about Morkel than we care to know about?

One thing is for sure:  I would hate to see Geoffrey pull his "grow-in".

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Peter Beardsley's magic chairs

Everton have been barred from moving their ground from the lovely old Goodison to Kirkby,  20 minutes down the road and not in the city, and the fans seem happy about this.

But not the pundits.

"They need the income generated by a new ground!"  they cry, "They need to 'sweat the asset'!" they say, in that bizarre business wank speak that seems so appropriate on these occasions.  "They should build a new ground with Liverpool and share it, after all it works in Milan so why not here?".

I'll tell you why - Peter Beardsley has come up with a problem that has nothing to do with boring things like tradition, heritage, community connections or the wishes of the fans:  the colour of the seats at the shared stadium.  Should they be red?  Should they be blue?  I would prefer a nice purple, but I can see it's going to be an issue.

Peter, having raised this issue, then immediately solves it:  "I'm sure with technology and whatever that we have today, that the seats could change colour from red to blue overnight" he says.

Now I'm no expert, but I recon a plastic chair that can change colour is worth it's weight of gold.  For a start, teams like Bolton could get rid of their big screens; they would just need to broadcast highlights on the blocks of empty seats they innevitably have at every home match.

I want Peter to pursue this idea, and perhaps set up a business to take the idea on further.  I for one will not be happy until I have set in one of Peter's Magic Seats.

The question of Garth Crooks

Garth Crooks has been off my radar, but last night he turned up on Radio Five Live and spent 3 hours spouting ill-informed, patronising drivel. And I though: if he can do it, so can I! So here I am.

Among Garth's more outlandish statements was this one on the topic of building a new football stadium and how it can improve things for your club: "it works, Arsenal are the proof of that!".

Well are they now? Lets they are not. In the preceding ten years to the move the the Emirates, at the gloriously ancient and marbled Highbury they won three championships and four FA Cups, including two doubles in 1998 and 2002. Since moving to the swanky new Emirates, they may be able to cram in another 20,000 or so glory hunters a match, and I dare say their corporate facilities are smashing if you like that sort of thing, but they have won a sum total of fuck all.

Is that proof that moving to a new ground works? It is to Garth, and he makes his living knowing about this sort of thing.